Ochocinco Wakes Up But Can’t Smell the Coffee

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Ochocinco Wakes Up But Can’t Smell the Coffee

May 23, 2012 – Massachusetts

Forget the loss of Super Bowl 46. Forget his lack of chemistry with the team’s offense.

New England Patriots wide receiver Chad Ochocinco spilled the beans via Twitter over the theft of his Starbucks Gold Card the morning after his rented Cadillac Escalade was broken into.

While mentioning the loss of his credit cards, driver’s license and iPod on a self-shot video, it was the Starbucks card that had him all choked up [Editor’s note: Not to be confused with his chokes all last season].

“I wish Tyrannosaurus Rex diarrhea on whoever broke my window and stole my #Gold starbucks cards.”, he tweeted.

Luckily, a Twitter follower’s mother found the wallet in a Providence, RI dumpster sans Gold card and Starbucks tweeted that a replacement would be sent.

Ah, grounds for happiness as it were.

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